The Official Joining Of The Old Farts Club

Well, here it is. The very last hours of my 30's. You never get them back you know. My 30's were much better than my 20's or any time prior, so I will miss them and all that they brought me. As I move into uncharted territory known as my 40's, I have to say that I am not looking forward to it too much. The whole ‘wrinkles and expanding waistband thing...' Oh goody gumdrops!

Fortunately, the whole hair loss issue was over quite some time ago, but the whole ‘Am I a dirty old man if I look at guys that are younger than me' issue is really unsettling though. All of this, however, is trivial BS compared to the big issue. THE GREAT PILE UP.

Lately, I've been having these flashbacks. (No, not the acid kind or the kind in your dreams.) These memories of people and places and happenings in my life will just appear in my head for no apparent reason, almost like your life flashing before you, like what you are supposed to see as you are dying. I am slow though, so I haven't quite made it through all of the old videos in my memory banks yet. Some videos I really like a lot, and some I just hate, so I keep playing them over and over again and again in my head and not moving on to the next memory. I think that while doing this, I have actually prolonged my life. I should have died years ago. Most of peers did.

I wonder what has made me elude the death rider all these years. Do you suppose the Gods look down on me and just get a kick and a laugh as I shudder while thinking about myself when I younger and how certain things have really affected how I act to this day. I really don't trust much of the world around me. Almost instinctually, I am very much like a timid little animal, and I run away if anyone makes any sudden moves. Perhaps it's a survival technique that has kept me alive. Of course, if I was supposed to be dead years ago and I am still here, it makes me realize that I am treading on borrowed time and the jig is almost up. So, my response is, "May I please be excused? I am tired of watching old memory videos." And, the mystical voice from beyond always has the same answer. "Not until you finish filming all the new memories." Man, this sucks! I hate having to act in all these memories just so I can remember them later on. Wouldn't it be easier just to die? At any rate, I am still here at 40. So, look out. These battered wings can still kick up some dust.

I'm getting a little restless now that I realize that I am just the star of all my old memories. So, I may just take on a new role that is completely out of my character just because life is really boring, and I still have some time to kill before the death rider comes for me. So Bubala, let us seize the day and continue the endless rocking from cradle to grave.